


nerds

by Alex__trash



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Crack Fic, Gay, Love, M/M, crack ship, im sorry, tiny bit of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 07:51:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13290396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex__trash/pseuds/Alex__trash
Summary: When the squip is suddenly human, how will he deal? And how will Jeremy deal when Michael starts falling for the computer-human





	nerds

**Author's Note:**

> This is not to be taken seriously
> 
> Edit; why the fuck did I write this? I read it and god, I have regrets. At least it’s funny.

Jeremy Heere lived a mostly normal life, he had a Dad, friends, and a supercomputer. 

Yeah, most people don’t have that last one. But he did, although he figured out how to mostly control it.

It by the squip, a stupid computer that tormented him for most of his junior year. 

Until he found out how to stop it. Mountain Dew Red, how would would’ve guessed? 

Point is, he had his life under control. Until yesterday. Not a single snarky comment from his SQUIP all day, he was feeling pretty good. 

Then he got home. 

He walked in his room and flung his bag down. He flopped on his bed and immediately sprung up. 

A body was in his bed! Someone else in his bed. 

What the hell?

He jumped away and grabbed a pocket knife off the bedside table. The form slowly sat up and Jeremy cringed. 

It was the SQUIP, vaguely looking like Keanu Reeves but younger. 

What the hell?

The SQUIP sat up and yawned.

“Oh hey!” 

It grinned and waved at the sight of Jeremy. 

The young boy stared at the human version of the SQUIP. 

“Uuuuum. Can you explain?”

The SQUIP sighed and let his smile die. 

“I don’t really know, I blame you. I’m completely human. It’s really strange!”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and sat next to the computer-human, setting down the knife. 

“Lets talk-“

The next day, Jeremy decided to bring in the squip to the man in Payless shoes. Surely that man would have an answer! He went alone and told his short story to the man, who seemed baffled. 

“Kid, I just don’t know what the say! I’ve never seen something like this, and I’m not exactly the smartest”

Jeremy had already started dragging out the squip while waving goodbye. 

They existed the show shop and Jeremy glanced at the squip. The recently turned human was wearing a suit, and ugly glasses. 

“Squip, you need to shop for yourself! You look nothing like a kid my age. And you have to fit in!” 

The squip raised an eyebrow before realizing the meaning behind that statement. 

“Well let’s go shop!” 

The two wondered around the mall, only a few mishaps ensued. The squip insisted on going into hot topic and buying stupidly kinky items. 

“No way!” 

Jeremy tried to voice his concern as the squip held up multiple chokers and other items. 

“Why not? I have money!”

“How do you have money?”

“I’m a thief!”

“SQUI- alright fine you can buy it”

“Yay!”

Like a preteen, the squip happily galloped towards the checkout and bought his items. 

Jeremy forced the squip out of the mall after that. 

While walking home, the two talked about how they would deal with this predicament. Should they go to an orphanage? Should Jeremy just keep him? What should his name be? They really didn’t know how to deal with this but they could. Probably. 

[the next day]

Jeremy blinked awake. Today is Sunday, he has chores. 

As he awakes, he looks over to the small figure on the floor. The squip had slept with just a sleeping bag on the cold floor. 

Jeremy moves off the bed and pokes the squip awake. 

“Wake up ya sleepy head, we have chores” 

Squip looked up, blinking away the sleep. He yawned and sat up, failing to get out of the sleeping bag. 

Jeremy breathed a small laugh, the newly made human could not function. It was rather hilarious. 

“Hurry up, I take morning showers and you need one too”

Squip looked fairly scared at the idea of being near water, but calmed dawn quickly. 

“Let me get an outfit out and I’ll follow you” 

Jeremy left the room, soon joined by the squip. They walked into the bathroom and Jeremy locked the door. 

Squip sat on the toilet and looked down awkwardly while Jeremy got undressed and into the shower. 

Pretty quickly, Jeremy was done and the squip was in the shower. 

He did not know what to do, he just stood under the water, occasionally moving his hair. 

Jeremy eventually shouted that time was up, and he exited. Jeremy sighed and turned off the water while squip got dressed. 

The two soon made their way back to Jeremy’s room. Squip stood awkwardly next to Jeremy, waiting for what was next. 

Jeremy noticed while he stood next to the computer human how different he actually looked. 

Squip had the same lanky limbs as Jeremy but he was much shorter. He had a slight baby face, all together making him look younger than Jeremy. He had pale skin and black floof hair. His eyes hid behind the glasses they had bought, but you could see the piercing blue behind the large rimmed glasses. He looked like someone who would get multiple piercings and tattoo. He wore a simple teeshirt and jeans, a small chain dangling off the belt loops. The squip looked like an edgy teen, not exactly what Jeremy wanted. He would have to settle, this was now his responsibility. 

“Hey, why aren’t you as evil? Or at least as smart?”

The squip cocked his head in confusion. It was a fairly strange question. 

“Well... being human is very strange and very different. I’ve never had to walk, breathe, blink, things like that. So I guess it’s just the stress of being human...” 

Jeremy nodded, that made sense. He supposed being suddenly human would make anyone confused. 

He walked around the room and started picking up trash, motioning for squip to do the same. 

The two did uninteresting chores for a while and I don’t want to write any of that womp. 

A few hours later, Jeremy got a call from Michael. 

“Hey Jer! I’m coming over so make sure your window is unlocked!”

Jeremy dropped the phone in shock and pushed squip into his closet very quickly despite his attempts to get away. 

Soon Michael was in the house, he raised an eyebrow at how freaked out Jeremy looked. 

“Jer? You okay? It’s not the squip, is it?” 

Jeremy sighed, 

“Something like that...” 

Michael shrugged, not understanding completely but he went with it. 

Nothing much happened until the squip was released from his closet. Jeremy introduced squip to Michael as a new brother, and everything went fine. 

[the next day]

Jeremy awoke to his alarm clock blaring. 

Beep

Beep 

Beep

God, it was so annoying. Squip was already awake, his outfit on the ground. 

Jeremy led the way to the bathroom and they did the snazzy shower switch. 

Jeremy wore his usual jeans and a blue stripped shirt. It was rather warm that day so he didn’t bother with a sweater. 

He felt pretty confident he could survive the day, until he looked at the squip. 

He wore a baggy black long sleeved shirt that came dangerously close to falling off his left shoulder, the opposite way of his hair swoop. He wore ripped black jeans, complete with combat boots. His glasses had a shine to them, showing off his sharp blue eyes and the black choker that had a tiny blue gemstone dangling off of it. 

“No way, I will not let you out of the house wearing that” 

Squip rolled his eyes mockingly. 

“You can’t control me, Mom!” 

Jeremy snorted and started crying. 

Jeremy huffed at how stupid squip was being and threw a backpack at him. 

“You’re coming to school with me because I’m not leaving you here. Don’t go into any classes, don’t interact with anyone. Hide in the bathroom or something!” 

Squip nodded and the two made their way out front. The squad was waiting outside. 

“Who’s that?” 

Jake sat at the wheel and obviously questioned the squip’s suddenness. 

“Oh my dad just adopted him. His name is... Q!” 

Squip, now known as Q smiled and gave a small wave to the group. 

“Jesus, Jer. I knew you got a brother but you didn’t tell me he’d be hot” 

As Michael spoke, Jeremy almost screamed. He could not deal with his best friend liking a fucking evil ass tic-tac. 

Luckily he didn’t and Q just laughed lightly. The two flopped into the car and Jake drove them to school. 

Once at school Jeremy quickly showed Q around, and told him to stay put in the cafeteria bathroom. 

Q stayed in the bathroom silently for the entire time. It got incredibly boring, he was going to fix that somehow. 

When lunch came along Jeremy got Q out of the bathroom and they ate lunch. Q sat very close to Michael who kept glancing that direction. 

Jeremy did not like that, but oh well. He couldn’t do much to stop it, he’d just have to endure the gayness. 

Q was blushing ever so slightly most of the lunch and Michael had a stupid grin on his face. 

Probably because they wanted to fuck and their hands kept touching. That’s a sign of fucking. 

Jeremy didn’t want the two to fuck. He went about the rest of his day and walked home with Q and Michael in tow. 

They laughed and giggled the whole way back, no doubt bonding hella quickly because i want to post this tomorrow. 

“Are you gay?” 

Suddenly Michael’s question hung in the air awkwardly. Q didn’t know how to answer but he did. 

“Yes? I don’t know but I definitely would take it up the ass” 

Jeremy suddenly grabbed Q’s hand and sprinted very quickly away. He was not going threw that conversation. 

[two days later]  
[Michael pov] 

Michael really liked Jeremy’s new hella cute brother. His eyes, his hair, his physique, his everything. 

But there was one problem. 

Jeremy. 

Luckily that little banana was going to Jake’s party. Michael doesn’t want to go. And neither does Q. 

It was night time and Michael had snuck into the Heere household. In Jeremy’s room there he was. Laying on Jeremy’s bed in his stupidly adorable outfit. 

Michael entered the room and Q smiled at him. 

“I didn’t know you’d be joining me, but it’s a welcome surprise!”

Michael grinned and climbed over to Q. He almost said 

‘Why don’t you change into something more comfortable?’ 

But then he truly saw what Q was wearing. 

To School he had worn a very large pink shirt that went past his knees. He had on shorts underneath and even showed the group at lunch.

However, it seemed he wanted to be more comfortable at home. 

He still had on the oversized shirt but this time, no shorts. No underwear. Just a penis. 

[Just want to mention that I made myself laugh there Im so sorry]

Micheal grinned at the realization and aggressively kissed the smaller man. 

Q kissed back, eager. He now understood why humans always wanted relationships and sex. It was fulfilling. 

The two broke apart, causing a tiny whine from Q. 

“God, you’re so entertaining~”

Michael purred while lovingly looking at Q. 

“Is that a good thing?”

“Oh hell yeah!”

“Sorry, I’ve never done anything like this...”

Michael breathed a laugh, he honestly expected Q to be more experienced. But it was alright either way. 

“That’s perfectly fine, I’m cool with being your first~ wait how old are you?”

Q thought for a moment, he didn’t really have an age but Jeremy had said sixteen. 

“I’m sixteen, why?”

“Oh that’s good. Legal age of consent and shit”

“Oh...” 

Q did not understand that, but he could deal. He was fine with whatever Michael wanted. 

[just like to mention that this is very rushed and I know this is very unrealistic. This is a crack fic please don’t stab me]

 

[I don’t want to write the sexy times because I want to publish this goddamn thing. Just know they had consensual, legal sex (with condoms) Yay]

[the next day] 

Q and Michael had decided to date, and when Michael woke up he couldn’t wait. Getting to see Q again, kissing him, claiming him in front of other people. 

He definitely couldn’t wait, he needed his adorable boyfriend. 

[Jeremy’s pov]

Jeremy was furious, Q had hickeys all over his neck. Jeremy couldn’t believe it, Michael and Q had sex. 

What the hell?

He was upset, extremely. 

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Q’s answer left a lot to be desired, Jeremy really wanted to kick him. 

But he didn’t. And everything went fine. 

[later] 

Michael had to know, Q wasn’t exactly who he thought. 

Jeremy invited Michael over for video games, and Michael gladly accepted. 

Once he got there Q was sitting very awkwardly on a chair in the middle of Jeremy’s room. 

“Go on, Q. Tell him who you are” 

Michael was immediately confused. 

“Jer, what do you mean. That’s Q, he’s your brother. Right?”

“Nooot exactly...”

Q answered Michael’s question his voice mildly shaky. 

“Michael, please don’t let this change how you see me”

Michael was so confused, what was going on? It didn’t help that Jeremy scoffed at Q’s words. 

“Okay?”

Q took a deep breath. He had to do this, otherwise I’d be a mess later. 

“I’m not really Jeremy’s brother. I’m actually his... squip”

Q hunched his shoulders as his voice got tiny. It was hard to tell the truth. 

Michael gawked at the small boy, computer? 

“Are you sure?”

Jeremy started laughing, 

“Oh yeah, he’s absolutely sure!”

Michael didn’t know how to feel. Did he fuck the squip? What does that mean? 

“Uuuuum, I’m sorry?” 

Q spoke up, his voice still very small. He didn’t know what to say or do. 

Michael walked over to the chair and took a deep breath. 

He slapped Q, hard, across the face. 

After the smallest gasp, Michael leaned in and kissed him. 

“Let’s have hate sex” 

[ten years later] 

Michael and Q lived together, a fairly normal life for the strange couple. 

They both worked at a programming company, and both loved their work. 

Q helped destroy all the squips and get everyone to like him. 

The two lived a happy life, but they’d never forget how all this started. 

“Jesus Jer, I knew you got a brother but you didn’t tell me he was hot”

The end~

**Author's Note:**

> There’s are too many words I’m so sorry 
> 
> Shout out to myself 
> 
> Shout out to Cecil 
> 
> Shout out to Bailey 
> 
> Thanks for not killing me


End file.
